Lancelot Link: America and 9.11

I want to be clear in my opinion of Lancelot Link and as such will begin by summarizing my thoughts in one word: Scampy. Yes, there's no question about it, Lancelot Link is a blockbuster of monkey cinema--possibly too great for its own good, with a talented collection of apes wearing suits, driving race cars, pretending to read, knocking things with hammers, chewing on their lips, wearing dresses, folding maps, playing pranks, driving speed boats, sitting awkwardly, crying, laughing...there's no end to what these monkeys appear to be doing. The question isn't what we pretend these monkeys are doing--this is adorably obvious--but instead, how do these monkeys understand what they're really doing? Do monkey kisses disgust their monkey partners? Don't monkeys ever get tired of shaking their bottom lips? Are monkeys terrified by being strapped into race cars? What does it feel like for a monkey to drum? Or to play the guitar?Are monkeys confused by ties and policeman's hats? Are monkeys distressed by being dressed as mysterious Arabs or ambiguous Asians?

The answers to all of these questions, thanks to these talented monkey actors, is, "I have no fucking clue." Why? Because these are some serious actors. It's not all that easy to seperate these artists from their characters.

All that said, Lancelot Link sets a serious precedent for xenophobic ape antics. Link's primaries enemies include a stodgy German Barron with a French assistant (some historical revision going on here I suppose), a stuffy English Duchess, an as-yet-not-introduced Arab known as Ali Asa Seen, and two ambiguously Asian but definitely threatening characters known the Dragon Lady and Wang. Why the world has turned on America is unclear and what exactly they want is even more so. Lance's employer, APE (Agency to Prevent Evil) brings to mind the Axis of Evil. In fact, if we had our shit together, America could have started its own APE (Axis to Prevent Evil) and followed in the awkwardly measured but adorably goofy foot steps of Lance. You think that Lancelot Link being a prototype for post 9-11 US policy is a stretch? Shut up.

My only fear is that we might've reached the climax of monkey month two movies in. Where do we go from here?

The first monkey of the month

The first real, live monkey of the month is Planet of the Apes, the original. This monkey movie was watched on a thursday night. There is some consensus that as far as monkeys go, these are some pretty intolerant primates. What's more, Cornelius, who calls himself a "scientist" is completely ignorant of any scientific processes. In fact, the monkey broad is the only one who has her shit together. "Is it a joke to seek the truth about this man?" TIGHT. Considering that these monkeys are reflections of our own human apishness, I'm ashamed to say that these are some ugly monkeys. ha. Ha. HA. HA HA HA.